


Fake Five and Have One

by twilight_shades



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Leonard Snart Lives, M/M, Pet Names, Sexual Harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilight_shades/pseuds/twilight_shades
Summary: Five Times Leonard Snart Pretends to Be in a Relationship and One Time He Doesn’t





	Fake Five and Have One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Do not own. Complete fiction.

1\. Mick

The woman is persistent, but not pushy and if he didn’t have to get out of here before he and Mick are discovered, Leonard wouldn’t mind rewarding it. She’s two and a half decades older than him and she looks amazing. He thinks she could probably teach him some things. He sighs though and says he’s married. She looks a little skeptical. He gestures with his head to Mick. Mick is watching them from a few feet away with a frown (Mick really wants to leave and is a little pissed at Leonard’s delaying). She concedes with a wry smile. He shakes her hand, putting the bracelet he’d taken earlier back on her wrist - she really does deserve a reward. 

2\. Sara

Sara comes up, saying, “Hi, honey.” She grabs his left hand in both of hers, pressing something into his palm. She stands on her tiptoes and brushes her lips against his, keeping their hands hidden between them while Leonard slips the ring on his ring finger. Obviously, their plan had changed since the last time he’d talked to the crew.

“Hello, Sweet-tart,” Leonard says, knowing it sounded enough like ‘sweetheart’ to be passed off.

Sara gives him a narrow-eyed look, but she smiles wide as she turns to face the people Leonard had been talking to.

As Sara won’t take any hints to find a private place and explain, Leonard makes passive-aggressive comments to Sara the whole time. It plays beautifully for their audience, who completely buy that they’re married.

Once they take their leave and get far enough out of earshot, Leonard stops Sara. “What was that all about?”

“We needed an invite to that party tomorrow and Rutledge only invites married couples.”

“I figured that out when you started angling for one. I want to know why.”

“We found out that Rutledge has what we’re looking for and it’ll be on display for the party.”

“What are we looking for?”

“A gold amulet, with a center ruby.”

“Like this one?” Leonard holds up the piece he’d taken off Rutledge.

“When did you get that?”

“Before you came along, sweet-tart.”

“So that whole thing was...?”

“A giant waste of time that could have been avoided if you’d pulled me aside to explain? Yes.”

“Oh, like you didn’t have fun with your little digs at me. Swear to God, almost stabbed you for that one about my dress.”

“That was a good one.”

“And what was with the whole sweet-tart thing?”

“Tell me it doesn’t fit.”

“I’m much more tart than sweet.”

“Okay, next time I’ll call you ‘Tart’.”

Sara laughs.

 

3\. Ray

Leonard sighs and heads over to Raymond’s pleading puppy-dog eyes. Leonard’s not sure why he’s going to the rescue. Except everyone else has their hands full and Raymond looks so miserable. Leonard slides under Raymond’s arm and slips his own arm around Raymond’s waist, accidentally-on-purpose dislodging the woman who’d been harassing Raymond. Leonard looks up at Raymond and says, “Sorry it took me so long to get here, just had to tie up some loose ends, hope you weren’t too lonely without me, sunshine.”

Raymond looks so surprised and relieved, Leonard is sure he’s going to give the game away. “Uh, no, no, no, I, uh, had, Mena, here. I didn’t think you were going to come.”

“Oh, sunshine, we’re a team.”

Raymond smiles then, big and bright. “Whatever you say, Edgestar.”

Leonard gives Raymond a look, but turns to the woman. “Mena, is it?”

Mena plasters on a fake smile. “Yes.”

“Well, I’d thank you for keeping him company, except when I came over, it seemed to me that he was telegraphing pretty clearly that he didn’t want whatever it was you were offering,” Leonard says, letting his voice go from polite to hard, “So instead, I’m going to tell you that you should make sure your attention is wanted before you inflict it on someone.”

Mena sneers at him and walks away.

“That was a little harsh, don’t you think?” Raymond asks.

“You saw how she reacted, she knew what she was doing.”

“I guess so,” Raymond says glumly.

Leonard slides away from him.

Raymond makes a little disappointed noise.

Leonard looks at him and asks idly, “Edgestar?”

“They produce ice-makers?”

Leonard barks out a startled laugh, genuinely amused.

Raymond brightens again, beaming.

Leonard shakes head, trying to school his face back to neutral.

 

4\. Iris

Barry begs so nicely.

“What’ll it get me if I agree to help?” Leonard asks.

“Whatever you want. Within reason.”

“I’ll think you’ll find that my reason does not necessarily match up-“

Barry flashes Leonard off to an intersection near the Central warehouse district.

“-with yours,” Leonard finishes. “And do not do that without warning,” he grates out.

“Sorry, sorry. Iris is over there,” Barry says, pointing.

Leonard looks over and Barry speeds off. Leonard sighs. Barry didn’t tell him anything about what this was about and Leonard hadn’t actually agreed to anything. Leonard wonders if a complaint to the mayor’s office would actually filter down to Barry at some point. He’d probably think it was funny. Well, maybe Leonard will have to ice him in place somewhere and give him a lecture. Or just ice him in place and play some awful but catchy music at him. Barry tends to be prone to earworms. Leonard strolls over to Iris.

“Oh, good. Barry said you’d agree, but I wasn’t sure.”

Leonard lifts his eyebrows.

“He didn’t tell you what this was about, did he?”

“No.”

“And you just agreed to help?”

“Not exactly.”

Iris sighs and makes a face. “Oh, Barry. You’re not going to freeze off anything important of his, are you?”

“Nothing too important, just his head, since he doesn’t use it much,” Leonard says.

“Fair enough. I need to get in there,” Iris says, indicating an unassuming door halfway down the block.

Leonard frowns.

“You can’t get me in?” Iris asks, disappointed.

“Only as a wife, girlfriend, or, hmm, entertainment. And the men have a backroom where business gets discussed and no women are allowed back there.”

“What?” Iris asks flatly.

“The proprietor, Manzitto, is very sexist. But if you’re looking for info, it’s a good source.”

“What, you’ll go discuss business while I sit there in the front and you’ll bring me what you hear?” Iris asks unimpressed.

“No. I come here with Mick and Lisa, Lisa pretends to be Mick’s girlfriend. All the women know what’s up, whatever Manzitto thinks, and a person with certain skill sets, such as yourself or Lisa, can collect a lot of information while the men discuss business.”

“Well, then, I guess we should go in, darling.”

Leonard arches an eyebrow.

“If you actually agree to help me, that is. I will, of course, share what information I gather and I’ll make sure Barry knows he owes you.”

Leonard considers, then gestures her forward. “After you, princess.”

 

5\. Amaya

Both Jax and Stein quickly step back, as if he would choose either of them, they’re both terrible at pretense and their respective ages would probably lead to having to deal with some… assumptions. Heywood is looking sullen, but resigned, when Amaya shows up. Leonard smiles.

He holds out a hand. “Would you do me the honor of pretending to be my wife?”

Amaya tilts her head. “Very well.”

“Hey,” Heywood protests, “why can’t I pretend to be with Amaya?”

“Be my guest. It will take me three minutes and fifty-three seconds to relieve Richards of his key, get into the room, and break into the safe. I’m sure your time will be comparable,” Leonard says with only the slightest hint of sarcasm. Maybe more than a hint, but much less than Heywood deserves.

“Fine.”

~~~

Amaya’s laughing at one of his observations about Richards’ décor when they get back to the ship. Everybody’s watching as Leonard makes his way to Sara and hands over the statuette with a flourish. Leonard turns back to Amaya and gives a slight bow. “Thank you very much, Mrs. Jiwe.”

Amaya smiles at him and nods regally, “It was my pleasure, Mr. Jiwe.”

Leonard smirks at Heywood’s disgruntled expression as Leonard passes by on his way to his room.

 

+1. Barry

Barry comes over, pulling his bowtie loose, and leans against the wall next to Leonard. Barry then leans against Leonard’s shoulder and Leonard shifts slightly to hold his weight better. Barry reaches over and undoes Leonard’s bowtie, too. Leonard smirks a little at him. Barry has a thing about Leonard in a tux.

Cisco pauses in the post-mortem that Leonard wasn’t really listening to anyway (they got the gold helmet and the guy using it) and frowns at them. Jax, Stein, Raymond, Sara, Mick, Heywood, Amaya, Dr. Snow, and some version of Harrison Wells all look over at them.

“You two don’t need to pretend to be in a relationship anymore,” Stein says.

Mick starts laughing.

Leonard rolls his eyes. “Shut up, Mick.”

“I told you, Boss, even if you had sex on top of this place, they’d still think it was part of a con.”

Barry goes to say something, but then stops, looking speculative.

“No,” Leonard tells Barry.

“But-“

“No.” Leonard shakes his head at Barry’s latent exhibitionist streak.

“So, wait, you’re actually together? Like, together together?” Cisco asks.

“Yes. And it took forever - he’s really hard to catch,” Barry says. “But I told you I was seeing someone.”

“Yeah, you neglected to mention it was Captain Cold,” Cisco says.

“Seriously, you didn’t get that from what I said about him? So cool, good as gold to his sister, a fiery friend, legendary.”

Leonard huffs out a laugh.

“Okay, yeah, I totally should’ve gotten that,” Cisco says.

“You caught him?” Amaya asks curiously.

“He’s a slippery one, but I had to, he stole my heart,” Barry says.

Jax makes gagging noises, Sara and Cisco snort, Heywood scowls, Dr. Snow looks like she’s trying to hide a smile, Stein still looks perplexed, Wells seems contemplative, Mick looks done, and Raymond beams. Amaya just nods.

“Who can resist lightning in a bottle?” Leonard asks, smirking.

Barry laughs.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you find any typos or if the format is messed up or if you think I need any tags.


End file.
